Just fell off a train. Bad.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
