My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
