so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize