They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Text me some of your sweat
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
