i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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