I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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