Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm like, not good at living.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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