fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
