Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
