The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
