You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize