I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
