I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize