Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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