Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
