PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
