Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
