Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
