I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
