I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Porn is love you can see.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
