Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
