Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just fell off a train. Bad.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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