do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
