My hand turned me down
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
