Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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