they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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