Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
