i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
