Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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