He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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