I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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