Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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