I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
