Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
