Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
