i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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