i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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