What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
