Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize