Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize