Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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