when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
