i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
