I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
