Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
