The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
me + whiskey = a bad person
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
