wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
