I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
