i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
