Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
