I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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