my vag is so smooth its legendary
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
