You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
