i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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