After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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