It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
