she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize