Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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