I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
