She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
