My nipple is on Facebook.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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