dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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